CRE: The road to heaven is narrow. Calculate the probability of a momo fitting on the path?
History: Using examples,explain why Luhyas cannot be employed at Kenchic
English: “Aiyahyahyah! Kidero You’ve Slapped me” add a Question Tag.
Kiswahili: “Aiyahyahyah! Kidero You’ve Slapped me” weka maneno haya katika muktadha ufaao.
Biology: name the body hormone that causes reflex action like Slappin a yappin woman then causes temporary loss of memory.
Physics: Sentences are flying out of Shebesh’s mouth at 14 words per second, Kidero’s hand is movin towards her cheek at 2 m/s, calculate the heat and sound energy produced when he hits the target.
CRE: You are the governor, You slap the Women Rep. A Reporter asks you about the incident, as a good christian,what should you say?
Business: Write an advertisement for a New Medicine, Slapanol, which treats A disease called Pang’ang’a, (remember 2 include the 2 people who helped demonstrate how it works)
Agriculture: “I dont remember slapping anyone” name the grade of bhang that the governor might have consumed to forget slapping the Women Rep
Physics Paper 1: If 15 terrorists were at westgate, 5 were gunned down in 4 days by 1000 Military men, 100 Recce, 200 GSU, 200 police, 300 APs and 3 Choppers covering airspace without forgetting Abdul Haji and company security agency, calculate the time that will take all terrorists to be killed and displayed having in mind the 5 killed are yet to be displayed, use the formula 15-5=0. (without using forensic results) (10marks)
Physics Paper 2: What was the burning intensity of the mattresses that caused the three storey building to collapse (5marks)
How do we call the sound produced by the burning mattresses? (2marks)
Physics Paper 2: Give three reasons why you’re still using mattress at home yet you know its effects (refer to westgatefire) (3 marks)
Physics Paper 1:Shebesh took 5 months to get gubernatorial slap and just 3weeks to get senator’s slap, going by the trend, calculate the time she’ll get mps slap? (5marks)
Physics Paper 1:If she gets MPs slap, will she survive? (1Mark)
Chemistry Paper 2: Q5. The mouth of shebesh occupies a volume of 1000 cm3 at room temperature (25degrees Centigrade). If Kidero exerts a pressure of 900mmHg on her cheeks, at a new temperature of 75 deg. Centigrades, what will be the new reduced volume of the mouth of shebesh? (10mks)
Chemistry Paper 2: Q6. Using kinetic theory, explain why the pressure of being an ICC witness at the Hague increases at with regards to finances.
Physics Paper 1: Q2. The government of Kenya is standing at an angle of elevation of 80 deg from sang, who is standing at a total height of 100 cm on high heels. Illustrate how the government could not notice sang.
Chemistry Paper 2: Wanjala is boiling water. Calculate the probability of him cooking Ugali, making tea or Taking a shower… (5mks)
Chemistry Paper 2: Between the Kenyan Police and the Kenyan girl, who likes money more? (5mks)
Physics: A Vitz overturns near parliament, calculate the probability that it was slapped by Kidero? (5mks)
Kiswahili paper 1: Kwenye picha ya Ole Kiyapi uliyopewa, jaza pengo.” (alama kumi)
Maths. Which one is the most difficult to understand? (5 mks)
a. Men
b. Women
c. Mathematics
Kiswa – Andika wingi wa Kibaki… a)Mabaki b)Mmmmwa-Kibaki c)Mkibaki d)Wakibaki
GHC – AP stands for: A)Atakumurder Pap B)Abnormal Police B) Askari Pumbavu C)Administratin Psychopath D) Akikuja potea E)Afadhali Punda
Home Science: Which of the following foods is NOT rich in protein a)Chips Masala b) Chips Funga c)Chips Beba
Maths – Draw with a protractor & pencil how Ruto “jumped into conclusion” & went to the hague
Kiswa - Maliza Methali *Akili Ni Nywele* *Ujinga ni Weave* *Wazimu ni Mohawk
History: Discuss: Charging a Vitz KES 300 for parking fees is a form of child abuse (15 Marks)
Chemistry: Discuss the chemistry in this reaction… (mwanaume ni effort). (4 marks)
Chemistry: Calculate the concentration of sugar in “utamu wa yesu”. (6 marks)
CRE: Considering his love for silverware, explain why judas couldn’t have been an Arsenal supporter. (20 marks)
Chemistry: When you send a girl a long text and she replies with ‘K’, which chemical element does that symbol belong to? (2 Marks)
English Paper I: Your Vitz has stalled. What could be the reason A) You’re stuck on a chewing gum. (6 marks)
History: Name at least 2 tourist camps you know in Kenya: Answer a) Camp Mulla b) Badman Camp (5 marks)
Geog. pp2 – Classify the rocks used by Gor fans. 1.Volcanic 2.Sedimentary.
C.R.E pp1 – When moses received the two tablets on mt. Sinai were they from Apple or i-Mac? (10mrks)
BIO P1 – Explain why modern technology does not recognize apple n blackberry as fruits anymore (4mks).
Maths paper 2:Calculate the speed of a poor guy to an mpesa shop if he has received money from a wrong number, given that he has not paid his rent(20mks)
Art & Craft; Name Three Joints. Answer: Rafikiz, Changes and Tamasha
C.R.E: How do we know Eve was not Chinese? Ans. She ate the fruit not the Snake
GHC: Where is the Largest migration in Kenya ? A) Maasai Mara B) Thika rd C) Ngong rd D) Jogoo rd
Kiswahili: Andika sentensi hii kwa wingi: Mwalimu aliniita. – Ans: Waalimu walitwitter.
Kiswahili: Kamilisha methali: Mtaka cha mvunguni….sharti a-bendover.
Kiswahili: Kamilisha methali ifuatayo …. “Usipoziba woofer , utachoma pia amplifier ”
GHC: Mwalenga…………… Who was the 1st Luo in the bible? – Nick Odemus.
Kiswahili: Ninajivunia kuwa Mke…
A) be
B) ka
C) nya
D) nge
GHC: What does G4S stand for?
a) Gone 4 Sure
b) Goons 4 Stealing
c) Gone in 4 Seconds
d) All the above
GHC: Select a national school you would like to go to after passing your exams.
A.Starehe boys
B.Alliance high
C.Mang’u high
D.Tahidi High
History: Name one place in Kenya where you will find coffee and sugarcane growing. – Kahawa Sukari.
English: Use defence, defeat and detail to make a sentense. Answer: De cow jumped de-fence, de-feat landed before de-tail.
Kiswahili: Tunga Sentensi Ukitumia “Jumatatu”. – Nilitembea kwenda tao Ju Matatu Za kwetu Ziligoma!
English: What do you call a KPLC van behind a G4S van? – Mulika Mwizi!
English: What is the opposite of Wetangula – Dryangula.
English: What do you call a window cleaner in Nyanza? -Transparent wall technician
Kiswahili: Translate in Kiswahili: Private School = Shule nyeti.
Physics Paper 2: Wanjala is boiling water. Calculate the probability of him cooking Ugali,making tea or Taking a shower…
Kisw pp3(102/3) SWALI LA LAZIMA! RIWAYA YA NGELI YA GENGE Dondoo! “….kigeugeu…..eeeeh kigeugeu…..nikijaribu juu chini nivukeboda….waninigeukia….” Maswali:
Eleza muktadha wa dondoo.
Taja na ueleze wanaorejelewa kama vigeugeu.
Taja na ueleze mbinu ya lugha inayojitokeza wazi katika dondoo!
Je mwandishi alivuka boda? Dhibitisha!
